down on my luck.

17.October.2009(On a Saturday)
12.07am on 16 October

I need a lucky charm

I'm seriously down on my luck recently. I need a lucky charm or a tailsman. HAHAHHA! I hope there's really a remote control so i can be in control of my life. Just like the movie "CLICK".

I want to be in control of the following:
-My destiny
-4D number
-My gender. (i want to be a male so i can break all the girls' heart. That's evil)
-My mum's mouth (Sexy lips but very naggy)
-The people that work with me

For now that's about all. HAHAH!

*updated

I used to cry alot. Whenever i lose someone i cry, whenever i think i'm losing someone i cry, whenever i get into a fight with someone i cry, when i'm worried i cry. Now i think i shouldnt cry anymore. I tried to hold my tears for one last time. I tell myself to not cry anymore. Crying does not help. I realised it makes my heart hurts so badly that it feels like it has been smashed. But for once i should give a pat to myself for not crying and to be able to hold back. I'm so weak, i really want to be strong. I can never change anything in life by crying. Finally i understand. I used to cry everyday but life still goes on. God is so kind to give us a chance to meet. Be it lovers or friends. The memories that we created and always kept. I thank god. Everything happen for a reason. Though i might not know why is god doing this now, maybe 1 day i will be able to accept and realised this whole thing is for my own good. The memories he gave me is so deep i doubt i will ever forget in life. The love we once shared is a whimsical feeling that only appears in fairy tales. Indeed a fairy tale come true but where's the happily ever after? And it's really fairy tale we're talking about. We're in reality so happily ever after dont really exist.

-We used to exchange pyjamas
-We used to worry so much for each other
-We used to share everything together
-We used to create every happiness together
-We used to miss each other like crazy when we're overseas
-We used to stroll down Marina keppel bay
-We used to call each other everyday without fail
-We used to take turns to drive each other
-We used to drive each other mad, madly in love
-We used to msg each other even though we're continents apart
-We used to take spastic photos

-I used to call you when i lose my way
-I used to call you when i can't park
-I used to call you to disturb you telling you i'll disturb you for life and you cant run away from me
-I used to stick to you so much
-I used to ask you to help me crack my old pack of bones
-I used to ask you to drive me here and there and you without complaining
-I used to cry at the slightest thing and you always ensuring me
-I used to buy you shampoos, perfumes and everything you need

-You used to bring me breakfast and giving me surprises
-You used to msg me whenever i MIA
-You used to worry whenever i dont msg you
-You used to take care of me whenever i'm sick
-You used to bring me to the doctor every month when i'm so sick and ill
-You used to brew me herbal tea
-You used to drive me here and there to make me happy
-You used to write me letters every month
-You used to bring me to the curry rice store
-You used to accompanying me wherever i go
-You used to disturb me about the meefen man

We used to be together.
But we're no longer.
I can't stop crying.
But it's a fact i can't change.
I'll try to move on.